I am not cut out to be a runner.
So, you all know that I’m planning to run the Expedition Everest 5K, right? Well, I haven’t run in two months. Why? Pick your excuse…
- the iPod shuffle isn’t charged
- there’s construction going on all down my street. Who wants to run past tons of construction workers and dust?
- it’s raining
- it’s too hot
Then, this week, I looked at my calendar, and OMG, it’s August. So, back to that running thing.
This morning, I put on a running tank, some lululemon capris, and my running shoes, and brought the kids to daycare. Then, I had my first delay – I had to stop and shop – at Stop and Shop, where I planned to pick up some golden kiwis (out of stock) and Starbucks (went out of business at this location yesterday) #servesmeright
Finally, I charged the iPod shuffle, added two new songs (Bullet with Butterfly Wings and Cherub Rock by the Smashing Pumpkins) and was on my way.
First, a light jog past the construction workers. Okay, made it past them.
Oh, my earbud just popped out. Must stop and put that back in.
Jogging, jogging…
Ooh, is my shoe lace untied? No? Maybe it’s loose? Well, I have to stop to tie it again. I mean, I don’t want to FALL, right?
Jogging, jogging….
Now, I have to cross the street. Must wait for cars to pass – don’t want to get hit, right?
Jogging, jogging…
My friend told me that once I get past the first 10 minutes it’ll be easier. I must be close – let’s check my watch. Wait, that can’t be right – 3 minutes? Only 3 minutes and I’ve already stopped three times for totally made up excuses? Ugh.
My other friend recommended that I pretend I’m running to Nordstrom. I’d prefer to pretend that I’m running from that sales associate at Nordstrom that hugs me every time I see her (yes, this is true – embarrassing for someone who is paid for her financial expertise).
Jogging, jogging….
Oooh, Bullet with Butterfly Wings just came on the shuffle. Isn’t that a great song for running? That’s me, bullet with butterfly wings. I can run 2 miles. Really, I can…. Rage songs are great for running, so I’m channeling my rage..
I can’t believe Veronica Mars was canceled
I can’t believe (redacted) is such a snob
I can’t believe (redacted) planned a dinner out without me
(redacted)
(redacted)
“Despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I’m still just” …..
walking. I quit.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Hilarious. So how far did you end up going? Can you say “after party” – LOL
Hey three minutes is more than I ran today …kuddos
OK LOL, I can even beat Tanya…three minutes is more than I have ran all week. Are you ready to give up and join us walkers?
Hee hee. When I lived in Boston, running along the Charles in the early mornings was always motivating. Here in Texas…the outdoors means hot, which means…forget about it. I like running on a treadmill with a built in TV…watching something entertaining distracts me from thinking about running. The only bad thing is that training for any race 100% on the treadmill is just a bad idea (learned the hard way!)
Diane – I ran about 3 minutes and walked the remainder of the 2 miles. I’m not ready to give up yet though. With Jenn & Whitney determined to make the rest of us look bad (LOL!)
Don’t give up Jodi. If it makes you feel any better, I have been running for the past 2 months, and I today was the first day I could run 5 minutes without stopping. Alright, well maybe that doesn’t give you much hope, but at least you know there’s someone out there who feels your pain.
I read that!
I have a 7 mile road race on Sunday and I couldn’t do 4.5 today…it was hot, I wasn’t hydrated enough, my foot hurt for about a second…and by the way alygatr this run was along the wonderful Charles River Basin where I’m still lucky enough to live.
Been running since I was 12. Some days are good, some bad, some impossible, some effortless. You’ll get there and don’t forget to think of it as “me” time. That’s what I do…even if I’m walking, there’s no husband, no kid just music I enjoy and the outdoors.
LOL Whitney! Just kidding, of course. You are doing such a great job training – I’m going back out tomorrow!